Wisdom vs knowledge

Wisdom cannot be replaced by knowledge… the other side of the coin prompted me to respond and reflect on something I have written couple of months ago.. The essence of that writing was why can’t the sensation just be that sans creating an image of it and entangle the being in thought that leads to desire to possess and hold on to that mirage image of that sensation … Now let me make sense of this idea of can knowledge help us to unravel those deep layers of our existence. What does this quest for knowledge does to us.. the meaning of cognition.. why do we have to interpret, recognize, reason or above all judge…

When I look at a flower why do I have to know if that is a daisy or a lily. All that matters is the sensation comes from the smell, it’s essence and the beauty of it… They look much better on abundance that in a flower vase at home. Why are we running to acquire knowledge that is ultimately going to suffocate our hearts and minds.. Do I really have to know which one is lily and which one is a daisy?

As for me these days, I am in a deadlock of my pursue of an ideal and my occasional acceptance of who I am-…the greedy, envious, violent, merely having an ideal of non-violence, of non-greed, so on a so forth which is of little value.

What affects me the most is how sometimes people perceive past relationships… Is overcoming the pain of losing the one you claim to have loved is to ridicule that togetherness. It is a sad reality in many instances. These reflections do take me back to those days of conversations that lasts till 4am when once had to wake up and go to taht mundane job but nothing matters when one's soul is satisfied…

Changes

It’s been a long time since I penned down any of my morbid thoughts.. 1st nite home, back in my homeland without my gal… Eighteen years… wait a minute that is not true … it is nineteen years including her in my womb…

Walked into the house…It’s been only three weeks and a beautiful home feels like a house…I want to escape from this fear of emptiness, loneliness, frustration, the fear of being nothing so fast…

I remember the day she came into my arms,those days I wanted to run and never look back, first words, first steps, the fights and the rest…. I wanted to protect her and I failed miserably… from that day onwards tried to compensate through material things…. The point of reference here is my guilt… But the people who wounded us are leading a perfect life and that is what I presume… Then again our lives are much more colourful than the rest… Another assumption to boost my ego..

Today is the first day since I can remember- a day I am not a primary caregiver… I could feel the chills through me spine…

another year gone...

A year older and “A” reflection….

Was in Nepal last week… Mmhh the meeting wasn’t that interesting and the politics was a bit stale and irritating.. My escape on the last day was escaping the masses and walking down the street. Mmhh beautiful furniture.. touched it many times to feel the texture, shape and was able to smell the wood.. That sensation was very inviting and wanted to sustain. Then that thought came “how nice it would be in my house” Oh nooooo the perfidious thought intervened and gave shape and form to that particular sensation. Thought gave me that sensation on seeing that piece of furniture in my house and a desire to have it was born at that point. So that happens here and what is the conclusion….

Sensation is the way of existence, it is exists no matter what.. However, we have learnt to suppress, circum, conquer or live with desire with all it’s problems. The biggest question here; “is it possible to see and touch that furniture- which is sensation-but not let thought create the image?

Where do we go from here....

Just came back from Vavuniya seeing so many wounded and imprisoned…Want to say so much but.....


I have caught the madness of your drum
My wild blood beats and throbs with it-come
Homeland, come

Come, from the dust I have raised my head
Torn misery’s bandage from my face
Wrenched my arm free from pain’s grip, cut
My way through the web of helplessness-
Homeland come

where are you?

Today loneliness like a well-tried friend
Has come to be my evening wine-pourer
We sit together waiting for the moon to rise
And set your image gleaming in every shadow

Happy Birthday!